Heartbreak Roadtrip

On Saturday after work, I went to the lake with a few friends. They got in the water (which would have instantly turned this Arizona girl into a popsicle), and I set up my borrowed hammock in the trees beside the lake. I laid there, listened to music, and just thought. It was one of the most serene situations I've ever been in: the slight breeze off the lake, being wrapped in a blanket, listening to an amazing Spotify playlist I just found, and listening to my friends splash each other in the lake. 

The next day, I hiked to Grizzly Lake. It was absolutely beautiful. The lake is down in a tiny valley, so you go around a corner and see it it at the bottom of a huge hill. On the drive back, we saw a mama and baby grizzly, which seemed appropriate considering the name of the lake. The baby kept popping up onto his hind legs, and I managed to get a picture of it! 

Grizzly near Grizzly Lake. 7/30/16.

Not many people know that I was seeing someone here, and even fewer people know why it ended. I've been having an incredibly tough time, and it's been affecting my mental health and my ability to enjoy the time I have left here.

After much contemplation, I decided that doing a 30 mile backpacking trip with a group that included him was going to be too much for me. I'm more than capable of doing the hike, but I know I would not have had a very good time. 

I've been wanting to spend time in the Tetons, and the idea struck me when I was hammocking by the lake. I called my dad to see if the idea was crazy, and he seemed to think it sounded awesome. So, I started planning my solo road trip. My friend generously let me borrow his car, I charged up my camera, and I took off. 

8/1/16. 

I left later in the afternoon on Monday, so I didn't get down to the Tetons until around 6. I stopped at the Colter Bay visitor's center to get a map, and I saw that the only campground in the park that wasn't full was Gros Ventre, which is in the far south part of the park. I figured I still had plenty of time, because my plan was to camp at at Forest Service campground outside the park, and the website I found said they rarely fill up. 

I got food at Jackson Lake Lodge, and then headed for Hatchet Campground. I got there, and it was 8 tiny sites, all of which were full. I backtracked to the park, and drove to Gros Ventre. Driving there, I got to watch the sunset, which was awesome. It was dark by the time I got to the campground, and I drove around all 4 tent loops, and every single site was full. 

At this point, I started to freak out. I called my dad, crying, and he told me I could try to find a hotel in Jackson, but everything is insanely overpriced and probably full already. He said the other option was to find a quiet parking lot and sleep in the car. I drove back up to Moose Junction, and found a spot near the post office that was quiet but not completely abandoned. I got set up in the tiny backseat of Drew's maroon Saturn SL2, which is strangely enough the same car that I came home from the hospital in. It's weirdly poetic in a way to have slept in the backseat of the same car under such different circumstances. 

I slept pretty well considering, but was so sore and stiff when I woke up. I had set an alarm for before sunrise, and I immediately hopped in the front seat and drove off. I went down the road to a turnaround, and watched the sunrise sitting on the hood of the car. 

Shivered through the sunrise. 8/2/16.

I drove to Jackson once the sun was up and got breakfast, then went and reserved a campsite at Gros Ventre so I wouldn't have a repeat of the night before. Then, I drove to Jenny Lake. I haven't been around that many people all summer, and it was a bit of culture shock. I took the boat shuttle across the lake (only $5 roundtrip with my employee ID), which was amazingly beautiful. 

Jenny Lake. 8/2/16.

I liked to Inspiration Point, which is a whopping 7,200 feet up. It took me only 35 minutes to do the 2.5ish mile hike, because I couldn't stand to be around so many people anymore. I took the shuttle back, grabbed food from the car, and hiked around the south side of the lake. My goal was to make it to Moose Ponds, which is off of the main Jenny Lake Trail. 

After about 2 miles, I realized I had gone way too far and hadn't seen the trail branch off. I hiked back, and still couldn't find it. I was starting to think I'd never make it there, and I cried sitting on a log, because I felt so helpless not being able to find a fairly popular trail that should have been clearly marked. 

I decided to just go back to the car. Discouraged, I started walking back. Then, I looked and saw what I'm pretty sure was an animal trail. On a whim, I decided to follow it. It went up a small hill, then dropped down steeply. I took a couple steps downhill, and I saw water. 

Just as I started wondering if I'd found it, I realized there was a moose in the water. Everyone here knows that my ultimate goal this summer was to see a moose. I stopped breathing. It was such an incredible moment. I continued down the hill, and saw another further in the same pond. Immediately, I started crying again, but this time because of how incredible and wonderful nature is. 

I sat at the top of a big boulder, and just watched the two moose happily munching away. I decided to walk to the other pond, and there was yet another female moose. I couldn't get close without too much bushwhacking, so I went back to watching the other two. I didn't realize until I looked at the pictures on my computer, but that moose had 2 babies, so I'm really glad I didn't try to get closer. 

Mama Moose with 2 Babies. 8/2/16.

Of course, this was a day I decided not to bring my lens with better zoom...I probably could have gotten a great picture of the moose's eyelashes had I had the other lens. Oh well. But seeing 5 moose in the shadow of the Grand Teton was one of the most amazing experiences I've ever had, and that's saying a lot considering everything I've seen and done this summer. 

Moose friend with the Grand in the background. 8/2/16.

It got even cooler when one of the moose got out of the water, disapperared for a few minutes, then walked probably 10 feet in front of me. It was simultaneously the coolest and scariest experience. Moose can be incredibly aggressive, especially when they have babies, and I couldn't be sure that she didn't. I talked to her in a quiet voice, and she didn't display any hostility. She was munching on trees the whole way, so I figured I was safe. I managed to get a couple good pictures of her without the shutter scaring her.

After almost half an hour alone with my new friends, a group of people came through, and the serenity was broken, so I headed back to the car. I drove up to the top of Signal Mountain, took the typical picture of the mountains from Oxbow Pullout, which is one of the most iconic views of Mt. Moran, and then headed to Moose Junction for dinner. I learned that one of the hardest things about traveling alone is not having someone to watch your stuff when you go to use the restroom. It was also an interesting experience to eat a sit-down dinner alone, but I was much more comfortable doing so than I expected.

After dinner, I went to the campsite for an early night. I didn't even build a fire. I had already set up the tent when I reserved the spot, so I spent some time journaling, then went to bed. It was one of the best nights of sleep I've had camping all summer. I slept until 8, and only woke up because I was dying of heatstroke since my tent was in direct sunlight. I got up, broke down camp, and left. I got coffee at Moose, then drove through the park, then to Bozeman via West Yellowstone. I did a few errands there, then headed back to Canyon.

The fact that I did a 617 mile road trip through some of the most beautiful scenery in the country was amazing. I absolutely love that no two views of the Tetons are the same. From each turnaround, the angle and lighting changes. One peak will look bigger, then half a mile down the road, another seems much taller.

Morning in the Tetons. 8/3/16.

I love this place with all of my heart. Yellowstone and the Tetons are home to me now. It's been an incredible summer that I will absolutely never forget.

I came back feeling a little more at peace. I didn't find any sort of clarity on anything, and I still have a lot to process, but I think I've come to understand that the hurt and confusion will just be something that I have to work though. On the plus side, I got some amazing pictures and had experiences that are completely mine; I know for sure that my moose friend would not have gotten nearly as close had I had someone else with me. That experience is all mine, which is such a cool feeling.

After today, I have two more shifts, then I'm out. My room is already packed, and I'm leaving as soon as I finish work on Sunday and check out with HR. Expect another long blog post after I leave, because I'm sure I will have a lot of reflecting to do.

-Morgan